Wednesday, October 23, 2019

NO ONE IS A BETTER ME!




                                                   NO ONE IS A BETTER ME!

I had a reasonably successful work career.  I was pretty darn good at what I did to earn a living.  Truth is, though, that while it certainly led to a reasonably secure financial life, (Before and after retirement) it did lack that same sense of passion that some of my other interests did.  I would have much preferred to be a world famous folk musician, or a respected writer than an insurance company vice president.

Don’t misunderstand!  There were many satisfying times during my rise up those gray flannel years.  And the work was often interesting and challenging.  But not so much as picking a banjo, singing, or seeing my literary works rising weekly on the New York Times Best Seller List.

But when retirement finally happened, (and I no longer had to wear a three piece suit to work every day, it was time to turn my interest to my interests. And I can now admit that even today, I still have some curiosity in insurance and legal claims practices in various parts of the world.  It’s not easy to shake thirty plus years of one’s life completely out of one’s system!

So I began to focus on what Bob wanted to focus on. 

I had first picked up the banjo in my twenties, and with some ‘how to’ books and a few lessons with a professional folk singer, I developed a style which both incorporated and yet transcended  every known facet of the instrument.  And I am happy to say that, even with the arthritic aches and pains of age, I play with more satisfaction than ever.  And much of the improvement has occurred since retirement than before retirement.  And while the conglomeration of techniques makes it impossible to teach others, it works, and people enjoy it…even when I sing!  Notice that I said “people enjoy it,” not “people SEEM to enjoy it.”  And because it is the amalgam mishmash of styles that it is, I can proudly proclaim that no one on earth can play the way I do.  NO ONE!  And that nuance is what this piece is really about.

There are similarities and many differences in taming a musical instrument and in writing prose.  Both require patience.  For me, learning the banjo was not natural.  It was painstaking trial and error for years.  Not so with writing.  I was writing stories while still in grammar school.  It was not only satisfying, it came naturally.  That ability has been a factor in just about everything I’ve done in my life.  I loved essay tests in high school and college.  I was able to compose plausible prose on just about any subject; many of which, I now admit, I knew almost nothing about.  I became a hero to many of the foreign entities with whom I was in contact with while working in the New York home office of an international company.  Many of my foreign compatriots praised my letters to the management of my organization.  Why?  I looked at some of the legalistic language that my predecessors had utilized in their correspondence.  It was often pretentious and had the tone of “You people in the far flung regions of Earth must learn to do things as we Americans do.  I always wanted to be instructive as to technicalities, but respectful of diverse cultures.

In my long love affair with writing, I had to weed out what I was not good at and focus on what I was.  Poetry is beautiful.  I love hearing it.  But I love a good symphony, too.  I compare poetry to my prose as I compare the symphony to my banjo playing. Fiction?  My best efforts in that genre were in the resume’s I submitted in employment applications. It secured several good jobs during my career.  Not JUST FICTION.  Fiction bordering on fantasy!  But Non fiction prose?  Aha! OPINION! I have written editorials, sermons, and speeches for myself and others.  I was a campaign manager for a political candidate many years ago.  Good stuff, too!  The essay format was my forte.  It covers a broad topical range, and it comes naturally.  It‘s damn good!

I have continued writing during my retirement years.  It is satisfying.  I meet with other writers regularly.  I am in awe of their abilities in the realm of fiction and poetry. 

A while back, when delivering my latest effort to a group, someone said, “Bob, I like it except for the one line which calls into question whether the piece would be accepted by others.”  Someone else joined in.  “Bob, you almost ALWAYS do that!  Why can’t you accept the fact that we listen because we want to….It’s not a favor or a chore.  We look forward to hearing your work.”

The comments were a revelation to me.  I started looking at a few of my past efforts…even the homilies I had delivered as a guest speaker.  There was at least one line in each which I now reference as my ESCAPE CLAUSE.  I realized it was from a lifetime of criticism and self doubt instilled in me from childhood.  I don’t want to go into a psychological treatise, but I recognize that there was a reason I was doing this…and I wasn’t sure why.  Of course, telling the reader that this essay might not be worthy of their attention was certain to bring about protests of  “Oh, of course it is good, Bob.  Matter of fact it’s great!  Was I genuinely insecure about what I had written?  Maybe just false modesty?  Whatever, I must admit, it was an effort to manipulate the reader or listener. In any event, I began to mentally dissect many of the pieces I’d written.  Not changing the thrust, but simply removing that poison pill I now refer to as the ESCAPE CLAUSE.  None of the work has suffered because of this literary surgery.  Those couple of folks who called me on that excuse making self indulgence have probably contributed to my mental and emotional state more than would a century of phsycoanalysis!

So, as I now recognize that no one plays the banjo in my style better than I do, it is also true that no living person could ever say what I want to say better than me!  Both my music and my writing are worthy of appreciation.  They are unique, and if someone doesn’t ‘get it,’ that’s OK. But the days of my forewarning  them are over.  Don’t need to tell me it’s good. I know it.  I no longer want to sound like Pete Seeger or Joan Baez. Or write like Ernest Hemingway or Maya Angelou.  I’m not a mimic.  I’m an original.  Pete could never sound like me.  Ernest had not a prayer of writing about my experiences or passions. I always hope you like my efforts.But if you don’t, it’s okay. I’m not crazy about broccoli. But I hear it’s good for me.
So…Thanks. For opening meup to some much needed mental self awareness and self therapy.

Original Bob                                                                                                                                           
J



                                               

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